Excuse me, my faux pas are showing

definition from dictionary.com

I have recently discovered that I have committed a couple of wedding-related faux pas. However, I am also of the opinion that the behaviors deemed terrible by some are merely violations of unwritten rules, which begs the questions: who decides which unwritten rules are important and if the rules are unwritten, how is everyone supposed to be aware of them?

Two of the unwritten rules I grew up with are:

  • You shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day. I think this one is finally dying a quiet death, but seriously? Who even decided this? Why did everyone else go along with it? Disclaimer: I never wear white. I am not accident prone or messy – until I wear white. Once I don white, something will happen to that article of clothing requiring it to be disposed of. But, if I do decide to wear white again, I will make sure it’s after Labor Day just to be annoying.
  • Redheads shouldn’t wear red. I heard this one all the time and always thought it was stupid. When I asked why, I was told “It will clash with your hair.” What? Why is it okay for blondes to wear yellow and brunettes to wear black and brown? I have always blown this one off and, I look fabulous in red. Just sayin’.

So, what are my wedding-related faux pas? No, it wasn’t the ultimate sin of wearing white to a wedding because that’s the sort of thing that destroys friendships and breaks up families. (Why do weddings come with so much drama?) My mistakes deal with the color of the dresses that I chose. At one point, black was not to be worn to a wedding because of it’s association with death and funerals. Apparently, it’s now acceptable – at least in some circles.πŸ™„ I have no idea whether or not it was deemed acceptable when our oldest son and daughter-in-law married. However, I wanted something special to wear in my role as the mother of the groom and was excited to find a beautiful black dress with gold embroidery; I loved it and felt beautiful in it. Some would believe that by wearing black to the wedding, I was making a dig at my daughter-in-law and expressing my dislike of her. Some would need to get a life. I adore my daughter-in-law and always have. There was no ulterior motive to my choice other than that feeling of “this is the one” when wearing that dress.

My black faux pas wedding dress circa 2008

My most recent wedding faux pas was last October. Did you know you’re not “supposed” to wear a red dress to a wedding? Neither did I.πŸ™„πŸ™„ The dress code for the wedding was “cocktail attire” which meant a shopping trip since Kenn needed a new suit and I own exactly two dresses, neither of which qualify as cocktail attire. I visited several stores with no luck and then… I found it. The perfect dress. I even bought it without trying it on since the store dressing rooms were still closed due to COVID. Once I got home and tried it on, I knew that I had found my dress and proceeded to wear it to the wedding. No one passed out,but who knows? They may have been gossiping about me behind my back.πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ(It was also a Halloween wedding and the bride wore a white dress with a black veil and the decorations included skeletons and sugar skulls so I think my red dress fit right in.)

I still think I look fabulous in red.

Oh, why aren’t you supposed to wear red to a wedding? Because red is the color of harlots. (Who even uses the word harlot these days?) And, apparently in some cultures, wearing red to a wedding means you had sex with the groom. (Ew!) I would have lived the rest of my life without knowing these “rules” without reading some wedding related posts on Reddit.

What are your least favorite so-called rules?

17 thoughts on “Excuse me, my faux pas are showing

    • Right? I actually did wear a splash of red to my brother-in-law’s funeral. I wore gray slacks with a red and gray argyle sweater. I kind of expected my sister to pitch a fit but she was actually wearing red as well, LOL.


  1. Hi. Jan here – over from Bean’s place! Loved this post. My step-mother always told me that you shouldn’t wear your hair long after age 25. Ha! I wore a dress very similar to yours to my daughter’s wedding! Black with tropical flowers (the wedding was in Hawaii) I had a friend who got married in late Fall and all the bridesmaid’s wore deep crimson, velvet dresses. The bride wore orange – we looked like members of the Addams family! Especially as it was a candlelit affair. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Jan! Thanks for stopping by. I bet the black with tropical flowers was stunning! I love orange – I’m sure the wedding was gorgeous. Twenty-five seems awfully young to stop wearing long hair. Of course, my hair has been short most of my life, so… πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ


  2. One of my least favorite unwritten rules is, “boys can’t wear pink.” Pink is my grandson’s favorite color. I got him a pink scooter when the other grandparents refused. BTW, Ally Bean sent me!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Annie! Thanks for stopping by. Pink was my oldest son’s favorite color until he learned that “pink is for girls”. He was also devastated when he developed freckles because apparently freckles are also for girls, LOL. I’ve never known where that particular misconception originated.


  3. I love both dresses, especially the red one with your glasses. I’ve never heard of the no red at weddings–in fact, white is the color of funerals in China and red is the color of joy, so most brides traditionally wore red and gold. As a nod to my husband’s culture, we both wore red thongs under our western wedding attire on out wedding day. (And my ExStepmother wore a red dress which I thought was quite lovely.)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hmm – Linda, I never heard that rule about no red at a wedding either. I grew up with a treasure trove of these etiquette rules and faux pas no-no unwritten rules from my mom, which I have referred to as “Momisms” in various posts through the years. The biggest faux pas was wearing white before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. I am here because I like the name Linda (having had that as my moniker for the last 66+ years) and because Ally Bean sent me here!

    Liked by 1 person

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